Tuesday, September 15, 2009

Things you don't learn in the baby books

1. A quiet baby is not necessarily a good thing. You know right where a screaming baby is. A screaming baby isn't silently pulling the toilet paper down the hall in his walker.
2. A bath shouldn't last longer than 5-10 minutes, even if they are having fun. Certain things get "relaxed" in the nice warm water and gross stuff happens. I actually gagged and Rob had to deal with the mess. Apparently when his wife took a job as a pediatric GI nurse, he thought he was in the clear when there was a pediatric GI issue. He was mistaken. Take me out of the scrubs and the hospital setting and you got yourself a plain old female. Sorry.

3. A rash can last forever.

4. Babies with 8 teeth bite.

5. The term "human garbage disposal" can start very, very early. I have yet to find something Rylan won't eat. The video a few weeks ago where he was gagging on watermelon? Still ate about a cup of it.

6. Growth curves are for the birds. Rylan's is right on track for a 15 month old. He's 10 months old. Whatever.

7. Just because something says 9-12 months on the label doesn't mean you should still try to queeze your baby in it.

8. When you breastfeed you give your child your immunity. When you apparently have no immunity to offer, you breastfeed, then you catch every illness your child comes near. Stay away Swine flu, H1N1, or as I like to call it the Hiny flu (H1N1 looks like Hini and its more fun to say than Swine)!!!! We don't want your pigtastic fevers and chills and cough in these parts. We've done our time.

9. Rylan Qualls is the coolest baby in the world.

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