Sunday, April 28, 2013

Child Shaming

A child spilled poured water on a second laptop leaving it unusable. I'm not going to say his name and go all blamey blamerson on him. I'll just fax some jax to my friend Dax and relax as I learn about yaks.

We are so lucky that these were old computers that had been donated to us. Now to buy one for reals and put up a shock fence around it. Where is my wizard boyfriend Ron Weasely to put up a water repelling curse on it?

We have our old desktop computer set up at the kitchen table and I'm working on downloading some pics. And then I shall throw up Easter-present in your blog reading laps. Stay tuned...........

Thursday, April 18, 2013

Its another Finish that Sentence

I'm only a LITTLE embarrassed that its been since the last time I linked up for the Finish the Sentence thingamabob since I last truly blogged. Whatevs. Anybody that knows me, knows that my kids (including hubs) and their crap allergies/lungs/airways take precedence over blogs and April is always a crap allergy/lung/airway month at the Q house, sooooo it has required MUCHO steroids and albuterol. Mucho steroids and albuterol cause Mommy to go just that tiniest bit ape shit crazy.

So, here they are, Holly, a funny vegetarian from St. Louis, and Jake, a funny guy from RIGHT over there in Marianna, AR. We are practically neighbors. I asked him to come babysit my kids....I never heard back.

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1. I laughed so hard I cried when...my mom shrieked bloody murder at a Tree Frog at the Rainforest Cafe in Vegas. Oh mah Gawd, it still makes me laugh till I cry and it was 2004!!!! I now feel the need to use a whole blog post just for that story. Aaaaannnndddd I just threw my mom under the bus!!!!!!!!!!!

2. My high school...was and still is home of the Bombers. As in Bomber airplanes. Probably one of the only non-living mascots. Whatever, when I bleed, I still bleed Bomber Blue.

3. It really pisses me off...when other moms judge my kids behavior. It happened Monday at the zoo. The mom was passive aggressive and used it as a "teachable moment" and was (loudly) telling her son that he shouldn't do what my kid was doing. Who cares if I've been known to do this myself and I'm a person in a glass house throwing stones at the momento.....it still pisses me off and girlfriend better be glad that she was not only taller and larger than me, but I was also hanging with Christian ladies that MIGHT not approve of me pulling out a can of Whoopa$$ at the zoo. Near the bears. 

4. In ten years...I will probably be working full time at a job that pays actual money, not in kisses and boogers, and my kids will be teenagers (I just threw up) and Rob and I will be crazy in a whole new way!!!!

5. If I could erase one thing...it would be my baby making stretchmarks. I've got a ton. I look like a tiger attacked me. I procreated out of my height class, you see, and gave birth to two 21.5-22.5 inch kids. Thats almost 2 feet tall. Plus my angry uterus contracted for 12 weeks with Rylan and 22 weeks with Max, so it had 34 weeks total of tightening up over those giant kids. Lots of stretching happened.

6. In 1999...I lived in a dorm called Hughes Hall and was in lurve with Pacey from Dawsen's Creek.

7. Honestly...I JUST ate a bowl of cereal at 10:58pm. Where is my willpower????

8. To me, Sushi...tastes like heaven on earth

9. Someone really needs to invent...A stretchmark eraser. 

10. The first time I drank alcohol...I was probably 10-12. That sounds awful!!! But my parents let me have wine or champagne (pronounced cham-pag-nay) at Christmas and weddings and such. One wedding I drank everything that was left at the table during a slow song when everyone else was dancing. Whoopsie.

11. The one question I would ask God is...why do we always picture you with the long white beard and billowy robes? 

12. Lindsay Lohan...was the very first douche canoe that ever ever ever was. Girl has talent, her original hair color is awesome, and she is skinny WITH a rack, (hard to have both, ask the girl with DDD's, I know a few things) and she ruined it all.

Monday, April 15, 2013

Dear Sara

Get to Blogging!

PS: get to losing weight while you are at it.

Love,
Your cute kids, long suffering hubs, fat rolls, and sad blog with no post in two weeks. KTHANKSBAI!