Wednesday, August 17, 2011

An Update, a Review, and More Illness

So, potty training has kind of been a pain in my arse ever since I started thinking about it. I have friends (more adequatenses) that thrive on their child being the first to do anything. They happily post on Facebook that their 16 month old just peed on the potty. There are others that I've watched make a yearlong battle out of the potty training and others (namely one in that crazy playgroup that I got kicked out of) that finally potty trained her kid at the age of 5. Its just such a crapshoot (no pun intended) on what you should do, how you should do it, and when your child is ready. I promised myself I would wait till Rylan was ready. I took a few "readiness" quizzes so that I knew the signs. I was patient. I dutifully bought my 41 inch two year old diaper after diaper after diaper. Having two kids in diapers, I chased diaper deals all over the this town, and had 3 friends and family members saving me coupons in the process. And I watched as 2 1/4 years old went by, I stayed patient. He turned 2 1/2, I saw signs he was ready, so we bought a book on how to train a boy. It was all about taking lots of time, doing it for an hour a day, not freaking out, being totally okay as time after time after time no pee goes in the potty and lots of pee goes on the floor.

Rybearski is now 2 3/4 years old and he no longer fits in several brands of size 6 (the largest size) diapers and he had started bringing me new diapers when he was wet. If he couldn't find a diaper, he'd bring a pair of pants. Unaware that is 190 degrees outside, these pants were not always shorts, sometimes he'd bring corduroy pants, sometimes jogging pants, one time the bottoms to a football uniform. Obviously, he now minded being wet. But, the laid back, take your time approach wasn't working for us.

1. I'm pretty sure the book is written by someone smoking marijuana. You cannot be THAT laid back about potty training. I'm pretty laid back and did my best, by come on......

2. I think our next step in diapers was a size small Depends and I just don't think that beats more rigorous potty training on any level.

3. Max is now a mover and a shaker and having pee spots on the floor doesn't mix with crawling toddler.

I had heard of the approach Potty Training in Just 3 Days, and I thought it was insane. You know, back when I had a child that wasn't ready to potty train. Several months, a billion diapers, and a baby crawling through pee spots later, I started thinking it was genious. I needed have a period of time, where I could get Rob to take Max, and Rylan and I could go 90-nothing potty training.

I won't bore you with all the details, but the weekend starts with throwing away all the diapers, going underwear only and flooding them with liquids. You then are supposed to watch them for signs that they have to go and run them (sometimes while they are peeing all over themselves, you and your house) to the bathroom, thus teaching them when "they gotta go." Then you say "tell mommy when you have to go pee pee" a million times a day. Guess how many times Rylan told us he had to go. 3. Every time he was put in bed or time out. Guess how many times he had to actually pee? A 1.7 million. Approximately. I tried, to the best of my ability, to follow the program to a T. It worked about 70 %. Rylan isn't scared to go potty. He has kept a dry bed every night and even woke up last night to go potty at 3am. I feel like it was a success in the sense that we got a really good start, learned all about the potty and how its not the Antichrist, and he got the start on feeling when he's got to go.
Last pic with a diaper on. He felt the need for a backpack and one of his old paceys as well.
Nothing says Potty Party/Boot Camp/Training like a cocker with a hat on. Oh, and Lola, your potty party is coming. Like, you keep up your antics and you'll be partying OUTSIDE. (Please note the towel lined hallway and Elmo with big boy underwear on. Both were big needs for a Potty Party)
Very excited about his plethora of Buzz, Woody, Nemo, Cars, Scooby Do, and Spiderman underwear
This pic was taken before Rylan really grasped what Potty Party meant. He kept saying Happy Birthday, Mommy to me. He got the hint after the 80th time to the Potty. And off came the hat and that smile.
Howeva, this whole "tell mommy when you need to pee"? Its going out the window. Its for the birds. I've got a boy that likes to tumble and play and read books and watch movies (moodies). He isn't about to stop and randomly say "mommy I've got to go potty." No amount of prompting or making him help me clean up his accidents is going to make him slow down at this juncture. I figured out that you have to learn what's best for your child and what works for your child. You know what works best for Rylan? "Let's go potty, mommy's gonna go first!!!!!" You've never seen a kid hightail it to the bathroom faster to beat his mom to pee. I love it. Not sure if its enough to write a book about or make my millions on, but, it has led to a visible lift in stress at our house. Today, as of 5pm, he's had a whole bunch of hits and only 2 misses. Yay Rylan!

As for illness.........someone in our house is sick again. Like, really sick. Like 104 fever sick. I'll give you a hint. It rhymes with snacks. Poor Max. He had a slight fever and sadness over the weekend, that we assumed was his shark mouth growing more teeth. Monday night he sprung 104 fever. I took him to the doc and he has a mouth full of ulcers and sores. Its similar to Hand Foot and Mouth Disease, its called Herpeangina. Bad name, terrible really. Because, the doctor assured me it isn't herpes like you get on your lips or down there.

A couple of weeks ago, when they both had their asthma exacerbation, Rylan complained of throat pain. I'm praying he had a slight case of this and we didn't know it and he isn't going to get this 104 fever business. He's already had a horrible wretched virus or 20 in his young life.

Almost as sad as Max? I keep quoting Dane Cook's comedy set and saying that Max has the Herpily Derpilies.
Here is cute, sick stuff trying out his new, big boy car seat. In actuality, he should have probably had this sucker weeks ago, but we were so poor from buying diapers by the dozens, we had to wait for potty boot camp.

Look at him, he's saying "mom, quit saying I have the herpily derpelies and put me in a luke warm bath!"


  1. Herpily derpilies...that's funny. :) What's NOT funny? Your poor, feverish boy with mouth misery. :( I hope he's feeling about a million times better today.
    As for the potty training thing, I'm seriously impressed. I'm one of those wusses who took something like a year to (mostly) train her kid...who, incidentally, peed in her car seat on the way to the zoo today. Lovely. And I still haven't let go of the almighty nighttime pull-up, though I've sworn that next week's the week...for real this time...'cause I ain't buying another package of pull-ups. I mean it. Honest this time. I swear.
    And I sorta have a little bit of a Dane Cook crush. :)

  2. Oh, Michelle, I wasn't talking about you, you didn't take long at all. I'm thinking you took the super normal route, right? You did it how I was hoping to, slow and steady wins the race, Rylan just did not catch on, he needed complete potty submersion program. And I've nearly gone crazy in the process! I was talking about my coworker that started before her son was ready and it ended up taking a year and a half and, she would tell her son awesome things like (and I quote) "you pooped your pants like a big ole' baby."