Advocare 10 Day Cleanse Yay! Or Nay!

The cleanse is over, was actually over on Thursday morning. Want some results? Wanna know how I feel about it? Couldn't care less? Nobody's actually reading my blog anymore because I keep putting off blogging like the true procrastinator that I am?

Rob lost 7 pounds in 10 days.
I lost 3. Whomp whomp whomp.......

I wasn't doing the cleanse to lose weight, so I'm not upset, any loss is a loss and I'm happy with the scale going in the right direction. I just would have liked to have been a little closer to the guy that had Happy Hour and an appetizer platter on Day 5. And liquor. He had liquor too. I'm not naming names. It rhymes with Cob.

Overall, I'd say the cleanse was a success. My biggest wish was to get rid of Fat Brain. Fat Brain needed to go out with the trash. And I think it did. I really do. I don't think about food 24/7. I don't feel like I need "treats" all the time. I have made healthy choices at restaurants and not been sad about missing out.

A big part of eating healthy is cost. It does cost more. At least at first. That first trip to the store to stock up. Its frightening, really. Especially for the girl that was buying a million items for $100 with all the coupons. Very few coupons are for healthy stuff and I've had to become okay with that and know that the extra money is going to the right place. I still use coupons when I can. If you use a store, like Kroger, that has a store loyalty card, your card shows what you buy the most of. So, at the cash register, after you pay, it often prints out coupons for you, and they are magically for things you buy often. For me this is stuff like Almond Milk, eggs, and yogurt. They also send me coups in the mail and they seem to have trended towards stuff that I have started buying, like protein powder. Basically Big Brother is watching. If Big Brother wants to send me coupons, let him.

When I packed Rob's lunches for the next day (yes, that little bumkin is spoiled. It happened well before I was a stay at home wife/mom, sue me) I've started putting my own together. Even if it isn't a day I'll be working. Its nice when lunch rolls around and I have a salad or something all put together. Nothing makes you decide against a salad or healthy fare like having two little tykes yelling at you for a hot dog and being too overwhelmed to chop up fresh veggies. When these two boys get haingry, they get HAINGRY!!!!!

Lean sirloin, mashed cauliflower, peas

I really need to work on food pics. They don't do the food justice

Protein Pancakes

Sausage Corn Italiano
The cleanse says corn is a no no. Rob and I concurred that we didn't get larger than we'd like eating corn. Seriously. Its a terrible pic, but so delish, recipe down below.

Grilled chicken with tons of Cavenders, peas and corn on the cob for the chillens.
We had Roasted Brussel Sprouts. The kids ix-nayed the Brussel Sprouts.
Well, Max ix-nayed being awake for this meal.

Sweatfest at 5am, party of 1? I love days when I get myself out of bed and do this. Its hard. I'm not gonna lie. I suck at the actual, out of bed thing. This is a kettlebell workout. I bought this kettlebell and it came with a free dvd. The dvd seems so freakin easy until your legs nearly buckle and beg for mercy.
 So, obviously its working something.

All in all, I'm glad we did the cleanse. I'm not sure I would do it again, though. I'd do the cleanse in theory, just maybe not pay for the Advocare one. Its a tiny bit pricey (for 2 cheapskates) for a fiber drink and senna laxative pills. And, not to get too personal, but those little pills kind of worked opposite for me. Like, I didn't "cleanse" persay. I kinda had the opposite happen. I just went 10 days without a lot of my vices (no sugar, dairy, alcohol, coffee) and shook off some sweet tooth, craving type problems. So, next time I'd probably do the 10 days without those foods/drinks and maybe just drink some Miralax twice a day and save some $$$$. 

Now for a recipe. We got this recipe from Rob's sister, Staci. He actually made it before there was a Sara in the Rob and Sara scheme of things.

Sausage Corn Italiano

2 cans corn (drained and rinsed)

1-2 green bell peppers chopped

1 onion, chopped

1 package Turkey Sausage link, diced

3 tbsp Italian Seasoning

3 tbsp Parmesan cheese (we omitted this for the cleanse)

Heat up a large skillet. This is the one time I actually use my gigantic cast iron skillet. While it heats, chop up your bell peppers and onions. Cook them till soft. I do Pam (or the cheap version) spray to cook them. I spray the pan and put the veggies in, then do a spray on top of the veggies for when I flip them. When the peppers and onions are cooked, add the sausage. This is cooked before its packaged, so it only needs to be browned/warmed. When the sausage is cooked, add the corn and Italian seasoning and stir it through and allow it to warm. If your kids are not dairy free, like ours, this is the part where you quit stirring and add Parmesan cheese all over the top. About 3 tbsp. Rob and I just sprinkle it on our own plates after serving. 

Make this, make it soon. Your house will smell like Silver Dollar City and your kids will eat it because it has "hot dogs" in it! 

I get so emotional baby

Sing it Whitney

I interupt my blog posts about how my bathroom smells of pee and my kid and husband got the flu to bare my little soul. Cause blogging is cheaper than therapy or Jenny Craig.

If you'd asked me a few years ago, even a few months ago, if I was an emotional eater, I'd have said "no". I'd have told you (and I did say this) that I just love cheese dip and ice cream and sometimes I cave more than I should. I would have said that Halloween makes me eat copius amounts of chocolate and Easter candy is just SOOOO good. LIAR! I mean, I can't be trusted around a bowl of cheesedip or ice cream. That's the truth. I do try to stay away from those items. Even in low fat form. I can't be trusted.

Howeva.

I'm on a hunt for a better Sara. This took looking at myself and my habits. I am not a "bad" eater. I keep good food around my house. I hate McDonalds. I get baked chips at Subway. I park farther away than the first spot at the grocery store and walk extra when I can. I exercise moderately. I buy low fat almost everything. I'm not fat because I have everyday bad habits.

I am fat because I'm an emotional eater. I started realizing that everytime my kids have a tough afternoon and I'm feeling exhausted and stressed, a voice in my head says "call Rob and ask him to bring home food." The thing is, I am prepared for eating at home. I plan menus. I cook in my crockpot 2-3 times a week, most weeks. I try to chop/precook veggies and such during naptime to make dinnertime easier. I even have Smart Ones pizzas and dairy free pizzas, corn dogs, and cans of soup for the boys stashed for emergency purposes. Soup takes two seconds to dump out of a can into a microwave safe bowl. I don't need Rob to bring home food 98% of the time. There have been times that I have had food in the crockpot, that actually smells good, but I have that moment where I think "call Rob." Because, Rob bringing home dinner is my way of feeling like Rob is making my world better. And that food that he brings home probably has 3x the fat, calories, and carbs than what I would have made. (disclaimer: I am in no way blaming Rob, he is simply doing what I asked.)

And Halloween candy? Nine times out of ten, I don't eat a piece on Halloween. I eat it the day or two or a week after, when the inevevitable post Halloween/hayride asthma attack hits both my kids. Except I don't eat a piece. I eat 10 pieces. I tell myself I'm eating the chocolate because my dairy free kids can't have it. Bullshit. I'm eating the chocolate because for one second, while chewing, that chocolate made me forget that we had to cancel the 9,000th playdate and go to the doctor's office instead. Or that I had to call my boss...again...at 5 in the morning to tell her that I can't make it to the one day of work I'm scheduled for.

I got Zaxby's 9 days ago after Max's doctor's appointment. We had to wait for 2 hours at the doctor and half the people had masks on because they were there for the flu. And then I got told that Max only had a virus. So I just subjected my kid to 2 hours of waiting room with flu people to be told to give my kid over the counter medicines. My kid that has had 27,000 ear infections and illnesses that some people have to Wikipedia before they continue a conversation with me and in no way needs to be anywhere near the flu. I ordered boneless wings and fries and I dipped the fries in ranch. As I ate it, I thought about how I hadn't been to a Zaxby's in a while. And I thought longer.....like since the last time one of the kids had to go to the doctor sick. Hmmmmmm........

As previously mentioned in my last post, the shit (and puke) hit the fan last weekend. Two our of four of Rob and Sara Plus One Plus One more had stomach flu and the two spared didn't feel awesome either. We had to cancel plans to have my dad help Rob with major house help. We were super sad. My kid that was really sick was super sad. I was up with one or more kids more than I slept Friday and Saturday nights. On Saturday, I waited for a prescription to help his nausea for almost two hours. The whole time I waited, I was thinking about my poor mom and dad and sister that were home with my kid, dealing with his flu self. A pastel colored bag of peanut m&ms caught my eye. And then jumped down my throat. Well, not the whole thing, but a lot of m&ms went down that day. Even more went down Sunday on the drive home as I wound through the hills with my sickly, on my way home to my sick husband.

 The rest of the m&ms were consumed while watching the Biggest Loser last night and it hit me how bad I'd sabatoged all my hard work. I've been getting up early, exercising during naps, doing squats in the yard while the kids played. And for what? So I could shove candy in gross quantities and boneless chicken wings down my pie whole when the going gets rough?

Part of getting better is realizing where the problem is. I've realized it and I'm not proud, but I'm glad. I have a good life. A great life. But there are times when it feels like its hard. Other times it feels really hard. My kids get sick a lot. One requires therapy that sometimes feels like more trouble than its worth. Some days I wonder if I should just work and pay others to teach my kids. Food doesn't fix these problems. A smile. A song. A kiss. A hug. A bowl of spaghetti squash and a ton of situps. Those things will fix those problems.

Playing at the park WITH my kids will probably fix a few problems too.

Shredhead? Perhaps?

I'm on a mission to lose. At the end of August, I felt like this. I blogged about it. I started doing one or two workouts a day. I was all EYE OF THE TIGER! Then I had surgery and blah blah blah, I've sorta half arse tried to lose weight. I'd be on a few days, then I'd take a few days off and find myself knee deep in a sushi buffet.

Last week, EYE OF THE TIGER came back and I'm so happy about it. I'm counting my calories and working out like a banshee. I've been (half arse) training for a 5k race using the Couch to 5k app on my phone. I've stepped it back up, and now I am on week 5. On Tuesday I ran 5 mins at a time followed by a 3 minute walk, then repeat. Tomorrow morn, I am supposed to run 8 minutes at a time. Wowsa.

Have I mentioned that when I couch to 5k it, I do it at 5am? 4:45 on work days. In the dark. Listening/singing showtunes or Pink the whole time. I got caught by my neighbor busting out some tunes. Luckily she was walking her five poofy white dogs, so who is she to judge?

I've now lost 2.5 pounds. In a month. 2.5 freakin pounds. I know all that crap about how its not the scale, its how I feel in my pants, and I'll be honest, the size 16s I bought are way loose and my 14s feel better, but I want to see poundage!!! So, I'm stepping it on up. And I'm bringing in an extremely fit and mean lesbo to help me out via her video, 30 Day Shred.

I'm on day 2 and I already hate this biotch.

At 8:01pm (kids go down at 8 on the dot!) for 30 days I will do The 30 Day Shred. I will. I will. I will. I'm also going to try to throw in walks and workout videos and continue my Couch to 5k thingamajig. Cause mama is tired of being tired.

The workouts are so hard on Lola too.

I can honestly say with 100% assurance that I will never be pregnant again (the surgery I had on mah angry uterus shut down the baby factory). So, every pound I say good-bye to is good-bye forever. And ever and ever. That is why I wanted to do this on no diet with no gym. Because I wanted to relearn my habits and know I can do this for life. Knowing myself, going on a diet would mean gaining all of it back the minute the diet was over. I'm focussing on eating a million more fruits and veg and cutting my portion sizes drastically. I am tracking calories on myfitnesspal.com. (my name on there is saraqualls, friend me!!!!)

And I don't want to rely on a gym. I want to be used to finding ways of working out when it's raining, or a holiday, or we have a sick kid, or we are saving money. It's too easy for me to make up excuses. I'm learning to hold myself accountable. It's hard! ****

****I'm not saying that if a groupon comes out with half price jazzercise classes that I won't snatch that baby up and dust off my jazz hands. Mama just found out they have a daycare!!!!

My uterus is now a happy-ish place

The surgery went well yesterday. I was a little nervous about everything, my mind can play awful tricks on me. I was also not very impressed with the anesthesiologist that had done my pre-op and I thought he was going to be the one putting me to sleep. But, a nice, young doc with a smile and personality came in, and was very good.

Rob stayed home yesterday and nursed me through my first day. When we got home, I needed help getting in/out of bed, changing clothes, and had a lot of pain. By the end of the day, I was walking around the house, sitting in a chair in the living room and eating a big dinner. This morn I'm taking it easy, but feeling pretty dang good. Me, percocet, and an entire season of Snapped and 30 Rock are hanging out today.

The boys are doing good at my parents house. My dad earned tons of papa points by letting them play with his fishing plastic worms. Oh the joy. I'm sure there will be many an awesome pic to share shortly.

Couple more days of down time, then operation Slim Sara Down shall commence. I was looking at my BEFORE pic, and I really don't think it does my current "situation" justice. Even though I've lost 3-4 lbs, I'm thinking I need a before pic that really shows the lumps and bumps so that the AFTER will be so much more awesome. I'm starting to have very little shame. After all, I spent yesterday morn in the lithotomy position.**

**After viewing the link about the lithotomy position, I'm feeling lucky that that's the position I was in. Sometimes you have to look at the other side to realize the grass ain't greener! Did you see the Jacknife position? OY!

Letting it all hang out

I gots something to say. I toyed with the idea of starting an entirely new blog to discuss this matter. Because it seemed to be about ME, not Rob and Sara plus one plus one more. And I don't want to bog down my family's blog with my issues.

But, I realized, my issues affect my family. And when I fix my issues, my family will benefit. And, I need my family's help to fix my issues. And, I'd like to show others with the same issues that they can fix these issues, even though they are crazy busy with a crazy family.

So, here goes. I shall bare my soul and let it all hang out.

So I weigh a whole lot more than I'd like to. I have a theory, that you can only blame post baby weight on your babies until they are 2. And, Max will be 2 in October. Truth be told? I owned 20 of the lbs I'd like to lose pre-Rylan. I was sometimes in a size 12, alot of times in a size 14. I gained 40 pounds with Rylan. Then I dropped the weight I gained with Rylan. To the exact pound and stopped. My body LOVES those 20lbs it owned pre-baby. Then I got pregnant with Max a minute later and gained the exact amount I had gained with Rylan (40 ice cream filled pounds). Which I was able to lose, to the exact number, once again, that I weighed before both children. My body SERIOUSLY LOVES those 20lbs.

Then.....I got Death Fever Feet arthritis, then I broke a toe, then I had to go on steroids like a bazillion times in a row, then I fell down some stairs and sprained my ankle, and now I have these woman issues causing me to have all kinds of crazy hormone imbalances and my body thinks its pregnant (its not) and shouldn't lose weight. During all these unfortunate events, I've been shoving large amounts of food at my pie hole and not exercising enough.  So, that 20 lbs that I needed to lose? Turned into 40 pounds that I need to lose.

It ain't pretty.

Really, really ain't pretty.

But maybe it COULD be pretty? Maybe I could turn it all around and start doing lots lots lots better? Maybe I could tell Death Fever and sprained ankles and fire ants and steroids and Adenomyosis (my lady part problem's name) to SUCK IT and get skinny despite all their meanness? Maybe life handed me lemons and I'll make calorie free lemonade?

In my adult life, I've been anywhere from a size 8/10 to a 14. Recently, I had to suck it up (and, suck it in) and buy my first ever size 16's. This is something I swore I would never do. Ever. I didn't even do this post baby.  Other people carry a size 16 and look awesome. I am 5'1 and I don't carry a size 16 well. I also have arthritic post Death Fever feet that would LOVE to have 40 pounds less to deal with. And while I like a woman being a curvy lady and not a bag of bones, I also like a healthy heart and a diabetes free body. I'd rather fix the issue now, before such problems start. I also want to feel healthy and comfortable and run and play with my kids and I want someone to say "Sara, take a pic!' and me not want to hide behind a plant, or my kid, or my husband. I want to look at said pics and think "look at me having fun with my family!" not "ugh, chins for days, boobs for weeks!"

UGH! chins for days, boobs for weeks!

Pretty sure I grew, the coat didn't shrink

So, I'm letting it all hang out on our blog. I need to lose 40 pounds. And I'm gonna bore you with the details of how I get that done. Because what will give me more umph than knowing I need to blog about my success. I've thought and prayed and asked advice about whether to put it on the blog. Whether it mattered to me that my far away family and friends and slight aquatences and, even, strangers would know my size, my struggles, and my worries. And, like I said before, I considered starting a whole new blog to document my weight loss. But then I had Rob take my before pic. The one where I wear an outfit that I will wear every time I reach a five pound milestone to show my before and after.One that looks kinda rough now and will look better as time goes on. And these two little friends showed up and grabbed my hands. And I realized, its about US, not me. And I decided right then and there that maybe other women could watch me and see that I could do this with no gym, no special diet, just a lot of heart and a whole lot of willpower. And maybe they could be inspired, as I have been by other women that did such a thing. Or my family that loves me could just watch me go from fat to not fat and say "yay Sara."

August 20, 2012. Me, my extra 40, my two crazies and my stalker dog.