I love my children. Say it, rinse, and repeat.

Y'all know I love my kids like a fat kid loves cake, right? That I pretty much don't remember what life was like without them. That I pretty much devoted an entire blog to talking about the goings on of our household and 9 times out of 10, the goings on are about my kids? Just felt like I needed to preface this post with how much I love these two children.

ZOMG THEY ARE MAKING ME CUH CUH CUH-RAZY!!!!!

This little munchkin lifted my dress up in the middle of church yesterday, exposing the back half of the church to my dimply, ugly butt and old, ugly gray cotton unders.

-Have I mentioned that we go to casual service and I usually wear khaki pants, capris or sometimes even jeans, but yesterday had gotten up and ran and was feeling slightly sassy and a tiny bit thinner and wanted to put on a nice dress?

-Have I mentioned we are going to a new church and a lot of people are just getting to know us?

-Have I mentioned that we usually sit in the back and this one time we let Ry pick the chair and he sat way, way way further up in church, allowing more people to get the awesome show.

This little munchkin has decided that he doesn't want to go to bed. Bedtime is equivalent to "hey Sara, do you want to be pregnant again?" in my brain. The pure thought of putting him to bed makes me cringe and remember all of the pain of the past.  He doesn't want to sleep in his bed anymore. We've made him a nice pallet on the floor, but he has to get up about eleventy hundred times to ask for water, food, a different place to sleep. He suddenly wants to cuddle. He needs to be read a book. He is really really hungry. (sidenote: we offer him cuddles, food, books ALL.DAY.LONG). We have a safety knob on his door that makes it to where he can't open his door from the inside. If shit really hits the fan, we close his door and let him scream. If its an extra special night, he gets out of his room anyway, and comes and hands us the dismantled safety knob. Kid is MacGyver. 

If, by chance he goes immediately to sleep, like he did last night, because he was soooo tired from no nap and playing in the sprinkler all day, we are treated to a midnight showing, and hours (yes I said and meant hours) of needs. Water. Food. A different place to lay. A cuddle. A book. He is really really really hungry.

I keep reminding myself that when Rylan went through these antics, we had a small baby and I was still nursing and recovering from Death Fever (Rocky Mountain Spotted Fever). We can do this. We can do this. We can do this.

Its his party and I'll cry if I want to

The potty party has commenced for our Plus One More Child. 7 pairs of wet underwear, one pee in the potty.

We can do this, right boo?

Not too sure.

Who's that girl???

That's my sweaty fat face after my second workout of the day!! Whaaaaat?  

Could somebody maybe just maybe be trying to FINALLY be a better somebody?

Here's the back story. Max woke up Tuesday looking like this:

It's impetigo. It's pitiful and it guaranteed us another week of being awesomely dramatically woe is me I have to stay homers. Until yesterday. It looked so much better. I work Fridays so we prepared to take the kids to daycare and I got up at 4:45am and did Zumba Rush*.

And then I heard Max whimpering and found a feverish boy in his bed. So Rob stayed home with him till noon, them we switched and I came home. Little pitiful was sleeping like, well, like a baby. So I got my step aerobics step out and did whatever moves I could think of while I watched a dvr'd Project Runway.

I don't know who this girl is that would not only wake up at 4:45 am to work out, but that would do a second one just because my kid took an extra long nap. But, I like her and I want her to stay.

I don't, howeva, like these bugs that keep plaguing my Maxerpoodle. It's just so sad.

*I got the Zumba dvds that you see infomercials for recently. I've tried out the basic and the 20 minute one (Rush) and a tiny bit of the Advanced. I LOVE LOVE LOVE the Rush. I like the music, I like the dances, I literally hum the tunes all day after I've done it. Its 23 minutes, and I know I should do a longer workout, but I just don't like the others as much, so I've started doing the last two songs twice, they are exactly 7 minutes, which gives me a complete 30 minute workout.

Bye Bye baby

For 4.4 years, we have been in baby mode. We have had diapers, wipes, onesies, footies, nose suckers, cribs, and bottles coming out our eyeballs. For most of this time I have felt like I have been in survival mode because we've had a lot of illnesses during the last 4.4 years. I think that made it go by extra fast.

At one time we had a newborn and a one year old. Yikes.

At time we had a crib in Rylan's room, a crib in Max's room, a bassinet in our room, and a pack and play in the living room. So we could lay a baby down or change a diaper in any area of the house. Somehow with all those beds, we got very little sleep.

Rylan had to move out of the crib a little after his second birthday because he weighed 36 pounds and I was post c-section, post Death fever, and MAH BACK HURT!!!! Max, on the other hand, weighs 26 pounds, dripping wet, at 2 years old. Plus, I haven't recently been invaded by tick fever OR given birth. I vowed to keep Max in his crib until he went to college.

Until Saturday.

I put him down for a nap and went out to the kitchen. Where Max joined me 5 minutes later. And gave me a heart attack. I thought it was a fluke and put him back in bed. I checked on him a couple minutes after and caught him perched on his crib rail with all four limbs like he was fixing to stand up and do a tight-rope walk. 

No more crib. Bye bye baby.  This dad gum kid is bound and determined to grow up! Its so rude! So, here is a trip down memory lane. From sweet baby to Mickey Mouse loving, sassypants, running 80mph little piece of crazy.

Oh Max......we were just starting to sleep again.........

So, what do you call the mode after babies where you get woken up with a 2 year old in your face saying "mickey mouse playhouse mommy!!!!!!!!" 

What. The. Frick.

Anybody that has read this blog knows about my family's ability to catch some nasty crap. Let me list a few of the major ones:

Swine Flu (Rylan)

Rocky Mountain Spotted Fever (me)

Herpangina (Rylan once and Max twice)

Fifth's Disease (Rylan)

That nasty stomach death Max had last week? SALMONELLA POISONING!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I've already gotten a phone call from the health department.

We've pretty much narrowed the source down to the kiddee pool on vacay. Max drank massive amounts of that pool water. Ewwwww

Totally expecting the locust infestation and plague shortly. 

 The good new is, this little boy is feeling lots better. I never thought I'd be so happy to see normal poo.

In other good news, Rylan is still nutso.