But, then it sunk in. Its amazing how quickly you can start to love someone, even a little ball of cells. And we saw the positive. And oh, were there some positives.
We are still in baby mode. We don't really remember what its like to sleep in, or sleep all night, or sleep deeply. We don't know what diaper free life is like. Why not just do it all at once and reap the benefits in 3 (or 5) years.
I've already quit my job (mostly). I don't have to worry about letting them down if I were to go on bedrest, I don't have to secure time off for a maternity leave, I don't have to leave my precious new bundle at daycare after 8 short weeks and feel remorse for the next 10 month till I get up the umph to finally quit. I'm here, at the house, ready to by a stay-at-home mom to Shim II.
Rylan loves babies. We started switching kids with Kristi when her baby was 8 weeks old. Rylan has learned to share Mommy. Of course Aubrey always goes home at the end of the day, this one won't. But, a girl in my playgroup has a new baby and he is always attached to her carrier.Wanting to give her a pacey or a bottle.
Rylan and his little brother will be so close. They will, hopefully, be best friends. A friend of mine has kids 16 months apart (bless her little heart) and she says "you'll go crazy for awhile, but then they get bigger and want to play, and life will be wonderful." I'm quoting her, and if I don't get the wonderful, I'm going to SUE HER.
There they are: all our positives.
When we calmed down, we thought about all the preparations we need to do. We decided that, just in case of bedrest, we would be totally baby ready by 26 weeks. Where did I get this number? Well, bedrest started for me at 31 weeks with Rylan, and probably should have started at about 29, I just was a dumb butt who didn't know better. I thought this would give us a nice window. Be Baby Ready by 26 weeks. GO
Well, we are on week 25.5. Guess how ready we are. Not even a little. We have clothes (leftover from Rylan). We have a new exersaucer and swing, thanks to a rockin' consignment sale I went to. We have a toddler bed ready for Rylan. Except we have a Rylan that won't go to sleep unless he's in some sort of "cage." Plus, we don't really like our crib, it will probably be replaced by one that hasn't been recalled for safety purposes and one that I don't cuss at daily (its a little annoying to get the side rail down, its a hand me down.) We also don't have a name for Shim II. We have definitely ruled out: Christofero, Mangus, and Dante, so don't suggest those to us. We do have a few front-runners, so that's a step in the right direction. So, here starts my mad dash to Baby ready by 28 weeks. GO SARA!!!!
My theory is that if we prepare for bedrest, plan for bedrest, bedrest won't happen. POSITIVE POSITIVE POSITIVE.