What they don't tell you

Before he was born:

"You'll never know how much you can love till you have a kid." -true

"So much poop should not come out of something so small." -very true

"You won't sleep for the next 18 years." -true so far, but did I really sleep before Ry?

"The baby doesn't fit into your life, you switch your life to fit the baby's." -uh huh

"The best feeling in the world is holding a perfectly sleeping baby." yes yes yes

These are the things I was told before I became mama. You know what I wasn't told? I wasn't told that I'd be embarrassed to leave a restaurant and feel the need to leave a tip as big as my bill because there is more food on the floor than in Rylan's belly. I didn't know that every time he got sick a little part of my heart would break a little. I wasn't aware that a child of Rob Qualls has an adult size head, and when said head hits your nose, it hurts in a most vicious way. I didn't know that playgroups weren't all crazy mamas wanting to talk about episiotomies and their workout regimen, that there are really cool people there. I really wasn't told that 90% of the cleaning I do will immediately be undone by Ry-bear. I didn't know I'd get excited about the zoo, story time at the library, playtime at the park or walking through a pumpkin patch just to see the look at Rylan's face.

Seventeen months later:

I still am astounded at the amount of love I feel for one little human being. I'm also astounded at how cute a kid Rob and I can produce.

I still can't believe how much poop can come out of something that small.

I got up three times last night because the new baby in the belly needed to sit on my bladder and the older baby in the bed needed a blanket he'd kicked off. Will I still do that at 18?

We are most definitely learning (slow since he's 17 months) that Ry is our boss. We're hoping he hasn't figured out, but we are thinking the amount of noise he generated in church last Sunday, causing us to hightail it out of there is a pretty good clue that he is aware that he runs the show.

The best feeling in the world is still holding a sleeping, slobbering, 32 pound, 35 inch tall "baby" in my arms. Preferably when I'm in a seated position.