50 Shades of Ewwww

I'm so tired I can barely breathe. My old roomate, Alicia used to say this all the time. Really any ailment is interchangable with tired. I'm so _____ I can barely breath. I'm so drunk, I can barely breath. I'm so mad, I can barely breath. I'm so hot I can barely breath. I'm so hungry I can barely breath. I think of her every time I say it. But, we were night shift nurses, so "I"m so tired I can barely breath" was the main one. Its funny still, 8 years later.

So. Tired? Because I have a 3 and 1 year old that get up at the asscrack of dawn on the days I stay home with them and the days I work I have to clock in no later than 7am? Nope.

I'm tired because of this piece of literary weirdness:


And the weirdo wanker that's in it.

I have had this book for a month. I used it as a door stop for a couple weeks, then I lost it twice. I decided it didn't interest me and said I was going to sell it on Craig's list. And then I opened it to just read a few pages till I got sleepy. And then I read for 3 hours.

And I'm not sure why its such a page turner. My theory is that, for me, I can't stop looking at crazy. In a Kardashian, wreck on the side of a road, drag queen show, 16 and Pregnant, and 1/4 of my Facebook friends kind of way. I'm like "ewww, that is so weird, this book is whack and stupid and I'm not reading it anymore." And then I turn the page and read on. And then its 1am.