A post about where Rob and Sara Plus 1 Plus 1 More have been/are going. I haven't posted in a month. Oopsie whoopsie.
I think part of my problem with my lack of blogging is that I built this blog because I had a little baby and I needed an outlet to talk about him endlessly. It is no secret (you can look at old blogposts for proof) I was head over heals in mad love with Rylan. Then we got pregnant and joined playgroups and there was all that to blog about. When I had Max, I slacked a little and its just been a progressive decline since. I am still in mad love with my kids, they hung the moon in my opinion. But, times are so different now. There is facebook and instagram and all that jazz and I get soooooo lazy about downloading pics to the computer, uploading them to blogger and writing a post. I'm serious, ever since I got an I-phone, and BIG TIME since instagram came into my life I have gotten lazier and lazier and lazier with the blogging.
We've also entered into a part of our life that is new for me and I have no other way to explain it except that I feel like I'm over the "baby" stuff and I am feeling a little lost at the moment. For five years my life, brain, job, lack of job, EVERYTHING, has been about my kids. And by kids i mean baby kids. And really, a lot of it was spent simply surviving. I went from being on bedrest for two months with Rylan, to having a scarily emergent c-section, to him being hospitalized at 8 weeks old, to him having a crazy first year full of little illnesses (all the dang time), to getting pregnant by surprise and having a really hard second pregancy (oi! the pain!) and then having a 22 month old and a newborn. Max brought the same constant illness that Rylan did, and asthma, ear infections, and crazy infections (salmonella? Conjuctivitis? Herpangina? Rocky Mountain Spotted Fever? anyone? anyone?) ruled our lives. I'm not trying to say we didn't have fun and life has been awful. Its been fabulous and I'm blessed. But, life, in general has provided A LOT of blog feed back then. I have identified myself as a kid mom whose whole life was keeping up with babies. How to keep a 2 year old busy so you can breastfeed? Done. Blogged it. How to feed a toddler vegetables and they don't know? Boom! Nailed it.
Now I'm here, staring at my 5 year old holding a cell phone and my 3 year old wearing a smart polo style shirt and carpenter shorts and telling me "a bull is like a horse and a cow but different cause its a bull, just sayin" and they seem SO. FREAKIN. OLD. What we are going through right now, I wasn't prepared for. I'll take it, over them being sick, and I am lovin the little men they are becoming, but its unchartered territory for me. Rylan has had some trouble with saying wordy derds at school and fibbing and more that I don't even care to talk about because I've talked it into the ground with family and coworkers.It feels like stuff I shouldn't have to worry about for five more years because I AM A BABY MOM FOR CRYING OUT LOUD. But, he's not a baby anymore and Max won't listen when I tell him to stop growing either. I've given deep consideration to going back to work more. I've given consideration to staying home all the time just for this last little bit. Some days I want to savor their babyness that I have left and love on them constantly and some days I feel like we look ridiculous not going to school and work. Basically, what I'm trying to say, is that I have no idea what I am doing and I kind of feel bat shit crazy at the mo.
And wondering about your place in the world makes for hard times blogging. Because I have 1800 thoughts going on in my brain and none of them seem blog worthy. So, I just haven't.
The crazy thing is: I love blogging. I find it cathartic. When my kids were sick all the time, blogging kept me sane. I had a voice that needed to talk and blogging let me do that. I love other women's blogs. I love the funny ones, the weight loss ones, the money saving ones. And my dream is to do that. Seriously. To do just that. Except I don't. I have follow through issues.
My blog started as a way of showing our babies to family that we don't see much. Its harder to do that with a 5 and 3 year old than it was with babies. They don't stay still for pics. They go to school more often than they used to. I've ventured into blogging about my weight loss, thrifting, other stuff. I feel like if I'm going to keep this blog up, that's where it should go. I apologize to family that just want to look at my cute kids and be updated on their lives. Not saying that's not going to happen, you're just going to get other stuff thrown in. I have been given many compliments on my writing and I truly appreciate them. In order to continue, there might need to be less kids and more other stuff. These boys arent going to love mom writing about their rvery move forever. maybe every other move for now. My hope is to do that without sounding like a selfish, self absorbed pain in the ass that only wants to talk about herself. The blogosphere has enough of that.
Since I haven't blogged since Easter (and let's be honest, the "Easter" post was two weeks late), I'll play catch up. Which basically negates me saying I might talk less about my kids and tht they don't smile for pics anymore.
They might be old and huge but I'm still shoving them in the double stroller.