I am the owner of two of the ugliest feet in America. Or the world. Several weeks ago I purchased some cheap flip flops that rubbed a scar on my right foot. Then yesterday I took a spill down the steps of our pool. At first I thought I'd gotten away free of injury (except the whole injury to my pride because somehow it sucks worse to fall alone), but my toes wouldn't quit hurting. I finally checked them out and my big toenail and the one next to it were apparently the victims of brunt force injury. I won't go into details, its harder to stomach than details of my csection for some reason. So, I'm slightly hobbling around today at work, but happy that my toes (which I seem to have jammed as well) hurt way less than yesterday. Then I come home, pop a Tyson heat-n-serve roast beef dinner in the microwave for the prescribed 4 minutes. When I take it out, the top explodes off, and roast beef juice flies all over the foot I DIDN'T injure yesterday! Burn burn burn. The saddest part for me is that I went all out last time I got a pedicure and paid $5 extra bucks to have pretty flowers painted on my toes with a rhinestone center.

That's all I have to say about that.